This is something I've wanted to do for the last few months but struggled with putting all my memories into words. I figured the best way to start is back at the beginning, so here goes...
Michael & I got married on May 9, 2009. We had dated for almost 4 years and discussed having a family in great detail. We both knew we wanted kids and it only made sense not to waste any time, not knowing how quick it would happen. Much to our surprise we got pregnant much quicker then we anticipated. On Father's day, June 20, 2009, I took a pregnancy test and we got our big fat positive! We were both in a state of shock and pure excitement. We had our first doctor's appointment on July 1, 2009 and then our first ultrasound on July 17, 2009. From the very beginning Michael was by my side...never missing one doctor's appointment.
We found out we were having a boy on October 9, 2009. Knowing we were going to have a son brought tears to both our eyes. We would have been happy with whatever God would have blessed us with, but we wanted a boy to carry on Michael's last name. We had so much planning to do, for our Ethan Michael.
I had no problems throughout the pregnancy, up until two days after Christmas. Over half the family that was at my Grandma's for Christmas ended up getting some sort of stomach bug ~ it was horrible. I spent over 10 hours sick as a dog and after a phone call to my doctor they advised me to come in. I was dehydrated which was causing me to have contractions. After a few hours at labor and delivery I was hydrated and the contractions stopped. I was terrified but trusted God and knew everything would be okay. As each month passed, I grew more and more anxious. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to handle labor, but Michael just kept reassuring me everything would be okay and in the end we would have a healthy, happy, perfect baby boy. It was his continued love and support that got me through.
On February 3, 2010 we went back to labor and delivery because of contractions, pressure and lack of movement. I was having regular contractions but not strong enough to start labor. I was dilated to 1 cm. After running some tests it was determined I had a UTI. They gave me antibiotics and sent me home. At our next doctor's appointment on February 9, 2010 I was still dilated to a 1 cm but was now also effaced 50%. The doctor said that Ethan was very low and that I would continue having lots of pressure. At the doctor's appointment on February 19, 2010, the doctor checked me and I was 3 cm dilated and 70-80% effaced. I couldn't believe it!! The doctor wanted to check the size of Ethan so she sent us down for another ultrasound. The ultrasound estimated him to be 6 lbs 14 oz but it also showed lots of fluid. The doctor said because of the excessive fluid that she would like to induce the following week. So we scheduled the induction for February 24th. We were completely beside ourselves...we were finally going to meet our son!! We left the doctor's office and began calling everyone. That night at 11:45 P.M. Michael took my 38 week belly picture, like he had done through out the entire pregnancy. We were so excited we could hardly sleep but finally headed off to bed around 1:00 in the morning.
Around 3:00 A.M. on February 20, 2010 I woke up with my back aching. This was nothing new to me as I had been feeling this for several weeks now. I got up to go to the bathroom, also nothing new, and laid back down in bed. After several minutes of trying to get comfortable, I decided to go and lay on the couch, as to not disturb Michael. About 45 minutes had passed when I suddenly realized the pain was not constant it was actually coming and going and slightly getting worse. I decided to wake up Michael and thought we should maybe head to the hospital. He immediately got up and started getting stuff around although I was having second thoughts and didn't want to make a wasted trip to the hospital. A few more minutes passed and I decided we needed to go...I hollered at Michael and he said, "OK, I'm just waiting on you, I'm ready". He had loaded up the truck and literally everything was ready to go, except me! I had no idea how long the contractions were lasting, since we don't have one clock in our house that has a second hand on it. All I knew was they were 5-7 minutes apart and I was getting more uncomfortable as time was passing. During the hour drive to the hospital it hit me...the next time we go home we will have our son with us in the back seat. It is so true what people say...you will just know when it's the real deal!!
We got checked in to labor and delivery at about 5:00 A.M., where they hooked me up and confirmed I was having contractions. After checking me, I was still only 3 cm dilated but was now 100% effaced. They had us walk for an hour and then wanted to check me again...no change. Luckily my doctor was the doctor on call and she figured once my water broke I would start to dilate. So they decided to go ahead and admit me and break my water. After breaking my water, within 30 minutes, my contractions were almost unbearable. It was so much more intense then I expected and I sort of felt like a wimp for thinking the contractions I was feeling an hour prior were 'bad'. The nurse told me I would have to dilate to a 4 before I could have an epidural, to make sure I was in active labor. I wasn't sure I had dilated anymore yet, but I needed something to help with the pain. I pushed the nurse button and it seemed like forever for her to get to my room. She humored me and went ahead and checked me...much to everyone's surprise I was dilated to a 5 ~ already!! The nurse began increasing my fluids in preparation for my epidural and told me it would be approximately 45 minutes to an hour before the anesthesiologist got there. I didn't think I was going to make it. Kudos to all the ladies out there that deliver their baby's without any meds...I don't know how you do it. I quickly learned that just breathing through the contractions wasn't cutting it. The only way for me to tolerate them was to groan through them. The anesthesiologist must have been close because it only took him about 20-30 minutes to get to me. I was shocked by the fact that I was asking him to insert the needle between contractions. I didn't want to feel the pain of the needle but I knew I wouldn't be able to sit still during a contraction. Luckily they had given me some stadol, so I wasn't completely aware of everything that was going on. Once I got the epidural it took it about 15 minutes to start working. After it was in effect, I was in heaven and finally able to enjoy the experience. Since I was in a much better state of mind we decided to call our family members and let them know what was going on.
I had been admitted into the hospital at about 7 A.M., had my epidural by 8:00 A.M. and was then dilating about 1 cm per hour. At about 3:30 P.M. I had stalled out at 9 cm so they started me on a slow pitocin drip. By 4:00 P.M. I was completely dilated and ready to push. I couldn't feel a thing, not even the 'pressure' that everyone talks about. I had to ask the nurse if I was making any progress. I couldn't believe how well the epidural worked. I pushed for about 45 minutes when the nurse went to get the doctor. The doctor came in, looked at my progress and said to stop pushing because there was another lady that was going to deliver before me...so I took a nap. The doctor came back in, I pushed twice and at 5:09 P.M. on Saturday, February 20, 2010 our son, Ethan Michael had arrived in this world. He was just as Michael said he would be...healthy and perfect in every way. He weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces and was 19 inches long.
As soon as he was born they placed him on my chest. The feeling of looking into your child's eyes moments after their birth is indescribable. He was beautiful and it was very obvious that he looked just like his daddy. I was instantly completely head over heels in love with him. A kind of love that is like no other. I lost all track of time and at that moment, nothing else mattered. When the nurses took him to clean him up, Michael went and stood next to his warmer. To sit back and just watch Michael with his son was beyond my wildest expectations. Michael's instinct was immediate. Michael had been talking to Ethan for months and it was obvious that Ethan recognized his daddy's voice. Those first few moments are so important and are moments that can never be gotten back, so we decided to just spend them together...just the three of us. Those moments will be cherished forever and never be forgotten.
An hour after delivery, they finally took us up to the postpartum floor. They took me to our room and took Ethan to the nursery to get his first bath. Michael went with Ethan, not wanting to leave his side, and got to spend some one on one time with his new son. I, however, was excited to finally place my order for food!! I spent time talking with family, all while eagerly awaiting the return of my son. We chose to have Ethan 'room with us' and keep him with us the entire time we were in the hospital. I had waited 38 weeks for him to get here and had experienced many sleepless nights before his arrival, that there was no way I was going to sleep without him at least within an arms reach.
I was very surprised how well I felt after delivery. Even after the epidural wore off, I still wasn't in a great deal of pain. I had a second degree episiotomy and it was tender but for the most part I felt great. I mean, come on I did just have a baby...I had to expect some discomfort. Even though Michael & I were so tired, we both couldn't stop looking at our little man. We both were comfortable with Ethan, yet scared because there was still so much we didn't know.
I knew from the beginning I wanted to breastfeed Ethan. Knowing it was the best option for both Ethan and myself, I never considered any other way. But I didn't expect such a struggle. Ethan had a hard time latching on and when he did, it seemed to be more work then he was interested in doing. During these times, I was an emotional wreck, yet tried to put my game face on for our visitors. Finally, it got to the point that something was going to have to give, so I would pump and then feed it to him from a cup. This proved to be a lot of work, so during the night feedings, I would pump and mix the breast milk with 1-2 cc's of formula and feed it to him in a bottle. By doing this I was able to get more rest between feedings.
We were finally discharged on Monday, February 22, 2010. I was full of mixed emotions, from excitement and joy to fear. So many 'what ifs' were running through my head. We continued to struggle at home with the breastfeeding, but I wasn't giving up. We came to rely heavily on our support from the lactation consultants. They reassured me, that we would get it...it was just a learning experience for both Ethan and myself. After much determination and struggling for 15 days, we finally both figured it out and have never looked back. The positive out of this situation is Ethan is familiar with the bottle, so every now and then Michael is able to feed him.
This journey has been by far the most amazing journey I've ever experienced. It's only been 12 short weeks and I know there is so much more fun and learning to be had. God knew our hearts desires and His timing was perfect. I am so thankful that He trusts me with one of His precious gifts. My heart yearns for the knowledge this beautiful boy will teach me. An unconditional love that I have never known. I am so lucky to get to share this walk with my best friend, my husband, Michael. We will walk hand in hand, with God's arms wrapped firmly around us, being the best parents we can be.
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